Saturday, March 06, 2004

Frito Lay has got to stop making Cooler Ranch! Doritos. I cannot help myself. I bought a 13oz bag yesterday and just can't keep from stuffing them into my face. Sometimes, I'll go a whole day without eating a meal because I get so full on junk food. My mom worries about me. She lives across the country, but every time I arrive for a family visit, she checks me out like I am the walking dead. "You've lost weight," she says with a disapproving look. My mom will continue to worry about my eating habits until the day I die - a day that may be sooner rather than later if I don't stop this Dorito diet. I actually convinced myself in college that Cool Ranch (as they were called back then) Doritos cured a sore throat. Something about all of the tasty powdery goodness found on each chip adhering itself to the mucusy bad stuff in my throat made it all feel better. I must go make myself a tuna fish sandwich before I pass out.

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