Saturday, April 03, 2004

Boys this is an official warning: Do not read this.
Some girls who don't like Too Much Information: Do not read this.

I had to one-up T$, didn't I?

Anyway, the scene went down like this. Tars picks me up at my house. She drives me to the Westside. We park in front of an ordinary office building. I start getting nervous. Once inside what looks like a normal doctor's office, a young woman asks, "Who wants to be first?" I volunteer. If not, I would have bolted the minute I was left alone. I follow the young woman into the smallest room imaginable. There is a table in there covered in white waxed paper. She says, "Take off your skirt and get on the table." She leaves. I obey. She returns with a glass of water for me. I chug it. I tell her, "This is my first time." She begins. Mid-procedure she starts in with the personal questions, "Are you married? dating? what happened? how long were you together when you broke up?" It is all very uncomfortable. I pray for it to end quickly. She tells me her life story, "I'm 21. I'm engaged. I am studying to be a doctor. you don't think he's going to dump me, do you?" I don't know how to respond. I nod, add a few "Mmm Hmm's" and basically clench my teeth the entire time. This 21 year old girl has been more intimate with me than anyone in my entire life. I think her name is Monica, but I can't be certain. Finally, it's over. I get dressed and return to the waiting room. I hand over the 25 bucks. I stop and think for a bit. How much do you tip for a Brazillian bikini wax? I give her a 10 spot, grab Tars, and run out the door. Much to my surprise, I think the entire uncomfortable event was worth it. That doesn't mean that I won't dread it, but I think I'm hooked. I recommend it to all the ladies out there.

That is all.

Boys: You can read again.
Girls who don't like TMI: You can also read again.

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