Friday, April 30, 2004

Welcome to Adulthood, Part 1.5

You will have to get your own health insurance because your new job won't cover you right away. You will try to brave it without insurance, but the years of a fast-food diet, alcohol, no sleep and cigarettes will soon catch up on you. You will remember something your mom said long ago about not getting onto an airplane without having health insurance. You will pay hundreds of dollars to cover yourself in the interim, but you'll never get sick.

You will have to bid goodbye to the snooze button. Alas, it's been good while it lasted, old friend.

You will have to start wearing a watch. You will have to get batteries for said watch.

You will start watching the news for the weather report. You will dress appropriately. You may even find yourself uttering these words: "Nice weather we're having." or "It says it's going to rain through Tuesday." Everyone will understand what you mean by "It".

You will save time in the morning by pulling your hair back and letting it air-dry in the car on the way to work. You will stop wearing colored eyeshadow. You will settle into a basic beauty routine that just includes powder and mascara. You will look tired.

You will look forward to lunch. After lunch, you will look forward to the appearance of the cookie cart at 3:00. You will treat yourself to a chocolate chip cookie every day. You will gain 10 pounds. You will discuss this fact with your co-workers every day at 3:00 when you are buying your next cookie.

You will know when your paycheck is coming, how much you will need to pay your bills, and how much you will have left over. You will begin saving for a much-needed vacation.

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