Saturday, July 24, 2004

I Hate Diet Coke

So, I had to go to work today.  Stupid.  And I stop at the Starbucks across the street from my office for a nice Vanilla Latte.  I'm usually not a Starbucks girl.  Actually, I prefer my coffee from the Sev.  I can even drink the stuff they make at work, but hey - it's Saturday - the receptionist isn't around to make it, and I couldn't be bothered learning how to make myself a cup in the monster industrial coffee maker.  So, as I am walking briskly across the street with my steaming cup of Joe, I look down for a second.  Damn!  Coffee on the boob.  I always get coffee on the boob.  It's like a little shelf - storing up crumbs and drops of liquid throughout the day just in case I get caught in a mudslide and have to live in a cave for a few days without food or water.  At least then I can suck on my shirt for sustenance.  But I didn't actually spill my coffee on the boob.  Nor did it jump out of the little drink hole as I first suspected.  No.  It was a faulty lid.  The damn thing leaked right at the rim.  The point of a To-Go cup is the fact that you have a lid.  A lid that holds the liquid in the cup.  This lid sucked.  But that's not all.  At lunch, I drive through the El Pollo Loco.  I order a twice grilled burrito and a large Coke.  A REGULAR Coke.  After getting my food, I drive back to the office with my Coke between my legs.  This is of course because I drive a tiny sports car.  Cup holders are apparently not cool enough for the car's manufacturers so I have to suffer through scorched thighs on a daily basis - but I digress.  I park my car and grab my food.  Bitches!  Coke in the crotch.  Seriously.  A faulty lid.  The Coke just leaked from the rim of the cup onto my lap as I drove.  What's the point of the lid?  Must I repeat it here?  Now, this is twice in one day.  I look like a lactating peeing freak.  The kicker of it all is: it was Diet Coke.  I hate Diet Coke.

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