Thursday, March 10, 2005

Every once in a while

It doesn't happen much, but every once in a while I am really happy. When the rent's due, the phone is ringing, the mail is piling up and all you want to do is crawl back into your bed of dirty sheets, it's hard to evaluate your current state of mind. My most recent project ended on Tuesday so I've taken the past two days at a markedly slower pace. I walked to the coffee shop yesterday. Sat down with an eggy bagel sandwich at 2 in the afternoon. Sipped my almond flavored cup of joe and read a gay men's magazine. And I loved it. An elderly lady sat down next to me. She had two big bundles from Trader Joe's and she wanted to talk to someone. I spent a half hour with her. She was fascinating. For an afternoon, I loved her. Sometimes LA feels like small town America.
Then there's the boy. I'm not in love. I may not be in like. I'm in curiosity. I'm in exploration. Call it a mutual appreciation - I appreciate his company, he appreciates my dirty text messages. That's fine for this very moment. It may last a day or a week or a month. But there's giggling in the wee hours of the morning and I like the change of pace.
And this song that's playing now. My beloved P brought me some new music today. Slow beautiful ballads with fret changes. Puts me in a mellow mood. Definitely put a smile on my face.
So, I'm amused by life right now. Haven't really felt this way since sometime in college.
When Tamara comes home, I just may have to wrap my arms around her and deliver her a large hug. Usually she doesn't like to be touched, but maybe she won't mind....just this once.



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