Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Hey! It's Waller's (actual) Birthday!


I want to personally thank you for calling me your "forty year old friend" for all of these years. In the attempt to make me feel like an old maid, you forgot that you are only...let's see...4 months and 4 days younger than me. I do not know how you kept that under wraps for such a long time. I met you in...what.. early 2000? I was a mere 25 and you were...um....24 and 10 months. But it wasn't me who was pointing and laughing at every single one of our new classmates at grad school, was it? No, that was you. I wish I remembered what you said instead of just remembering what the person next to me smelled like. I don't mean you, Waller. I mean the person sitting on the other side of me in the bleachers. On Carson Sound Stage. Right after we walked under those dumb arches and said something for the camera like, "I'm Allison from New Jersey" just so the powers that be could have something to sell on ebay once we all become famous-er than our wildest dreams. I said famous-er. That's right. I liked it when you'd camp out on our living room floor. Will you ever do that again? It felt like summer camp. Then, you'd call and say something like, "Hey. I'm picking up some Baja Fresh. Would you like me to bring you some?" and I could all pretend that you were my pseudo boyfriend. I said pseudo boyfriend. That's the kind of boyfriend you have without the sex. Oh. My. So how about for your birthday...just to make it extra special....Mels and I will come over and sit down on the seat? I know that will make you happy. T$ and I are cooking up a VSS for you, but you will have to be patient. That's a Very Special Surprise, not an STD.

P.S. - My dad said to make sure that I wished you a Happy Birthday from him. I'm serious. He remembers every detail of that conversation you had with him at El Chollo. I'm still carrying around mystery novels in the trunk of my car that he made me promise to give to you. My entire family loves you. If I hear one more time just how great that Waller is or how I should definitely be dating Waller, I will scream.

I love you Waller! Have a very Happy Birthday!

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