Thursday, June 23, 2005

For Mom

For a long while now, I’ve been hesitant to blog about all the crazy shit that’s been going on because, well, who wants to be a downer? I mean, this blog is usually one big stand-up routine, and lately, T$ and her uterus have been the headliners. I’ve been the slut in the corner wearing too much makeup cackling at all the jokes.

Well, today I found myself cackling over a not-so-funny subject, but it felt really good to laugh about it. Cancer. That’s right. Not so funny. My dad has it. My mom just found out she has it. And, by the way I’ve been sucking on the end of the Camel Lights lately, I’m surely on my way to getting it. In a year where cancer has brought me to tears almost as much as an insensitive ex-boyfriend, today I laughed at it.

The giggles crept into my throat as Mama Bear shared the details of her latest catscan. We laughed because she apparently has an extra spleen. Spleen? Who the fuck knows what the first spleen does, let alone the extra one. Also, she may have a touch of the osteoporosis. No shit Ma. You’re sixty-five years old for God’s sake! I didn’t think she’d appreciate the cursing and the Lord in the same breath, being Catholic and all, but she laughed. And when she laughed, I smiled. Because she hasn’t sounded like herself lately, and that scared me.

But now she was laughing...so I kept going. The gall stones. The hint of emphysema. What the fuck is a “hint” of emphysema? The woman never smoked a day in her life and still gets stuck with a hint of emphysema. I felt a little guilty about all the Camel Lights. All in all, the results were good news. Cancer has not spread throughout the rest of her body. Surgery is scheduled for Tuesday morning, and I’m going to be right there, holding her hand, trying to make her laugh. Who needs all that colon in there for fuck’s sake. Get that shit out and get better already.

I love you Ma.



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