Monday, July 26, 2004

Headshots

I think I will be enforcing a strict "No Headshot" rule in my daily life. If you have a headshot or if your job involves the collecting and distributing of headshots, I don't want to talk to you. Now, this could pose a problem later when I make another movie, seeing as though I will be involved in the casting and directing of said movie, but for the time being - "No Headshot" rule is the master plan. I hate casting. I hate negotiating with talent agents. I hate the casting director that I have hired out of Portland who cannot get the job done but still expects to get paid.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

All Hail DSL

The phone got turned off, but the DSL still works. Go figure. This brings me to one very important question: When will I learn not to just allow my mail to pile up for months? The utility companies don't like it when you ignore them. The moral of the story is that I need a better paying job in order to keep up. It's a sad fact that I made almost double what I make now when I was only 22. And that was before all of the grad school debt. Ahhhh....the life of a struggling artist.

Saturday, July 24, 2004

I Hate Diet Coke

So, I had to go to work today.  Stupid.  And I stop at the Starbucks across the street from my office for a nice Vanilla Latte.  I'm usually not a Starbucks girl.  Actually, I prefer my coffee from the Sev.  I can even drink the stuff they make at work, but hey - it's Saturday - the receptionist isn't around to make it, and I couldn't be bothered learning how to make myself a cup in the monster industrial coffee maker.  So, as I am walking briskly across the street with my steaming cup of Joe, I look down for a second.  Damn!  Coffee on the boob.  I always get coffee on the boob.  It's like a little shelf - storing up crumbs and drops of liquid throughout the day just in case I get caught in a mudslide and have to live in a cave for a few days without food or water.  At least then I can suck on my shirt for sustenance.  But I didn't actually spill my coffee on the boob.  Nor did it jump out of the little drink hole as I first suspected.  No.  It was a faulty lid.  The damn thing leaked right at the rim.  The point of a To-Go cup is the fact that you have a lid.  A lid that holds the liquid in the cup.  This lid sucked.  But that's not all.  At lunch, I drive through the El Pollo Loco.  I order a twice grilled burrito and a large Coke.  A REGULAR Coke.  After getting my food, I drive back to the office with my Coke between my legs.  This is of course because I drive a tiny sports car.  Cup holders are apparently not cool enough for the car's manufacturers so I have to suffer through scorched thighs on a daily basis - but I digress.  I park my car and grab my food.  Bitches!  Coke in the crotch.  Seriously.  A faulty lid.  The Coke just leaked from the rim of the cup onto my lap as I drove.  What's the point of the lid?  Must I repeat it here?  Now, this is twice in one day.  I look like a lactating peeing freak.  The kicker of it all is: it was Diet Coke.  I hate Diet Coke.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Watch Your Back, Man.

I swear this gal at work is out to get me.  First of all, she was the one involved in the oh so uncomfortable perhaps-this-could-turn-into-a-threesome-romp on Friday night.  I discreetly declined and got the hell out of there.  Then, she asks me to help her with this script that's due first thing tomorrow morning.  She begs for my help at 6 o'clock.  6 pm.  Almost closing time.  I agree, not knowing how much work it really is.......so now it's 11pm.  I'm on Act 3.  Out of 5 Acts.  I'll be here all night.  Bitches.  You never can trust women, you know?  She must be punishing me for turning her and the to-remain-nameless-boy-who-I-used-to-call-a-friend down on Friday night.  Whatever.

To Catch You All Up.....

Here's a list of things I have either a) Done, b) Been Accused of Doing, or c) Been Presented With As An Option over the course of this weekend:

1. Eating a delicious turkey burger at Elliot's BBQ.
2. Cockblocking.
3. Singing "I Love Rock and Roll" at the craziest karaoke bar I've ever seen.
4. Having a Three-some [don't gasp - see (c) above]
5. Smoking a Big J.
6. Wondering what the hell is going on during 6 Feet Under.
7. Watching I Heart the 90s with a tear in my eye.
8. Doing Laundry [oh wait, that didn't happen...]

When do I have to start being a grown-up?


Friday, July 16, 2004

Dear Allie,

Stop with the liquid lunches.  You ignore me the rest of the afternoon.
 
love,
Your Job

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

More Taboo Giggles.....

Clue Giver: What someone gives to another when they plan to wed.

Tamara: Blowjob!

Hmm....how many times have we been engaged, Tamara?


Clue Giver: Some description that is way to explicit for young readers.

Allie: Teabag! Teabag!


Yeah. It was that kind of crowd.

Sunday, July 11, 2004

I concur.

That always makes me think of Catch Me If You Can. Do you concur?

Spiderman 2 blew. The dialogue was terrible - almost on par with Honey. "I'm doing it for the kids." Terrible. Only this time, it was, "Everybody needs a hero. Your uncle looked for a hero. Kids need someone to look up to. Everybody needs a hero." And what's with the love story? Gee Ay Why. I never believed MJ loved Peter. Yeah, he disappointed her. Yeah, he came off like a wimp when he couldn't tell her how he felt. Oh. Wait. He told her on the phone AFTER SHE HUNG UP. Did I tell you? Gee Ay Why.

Now it's time for quiche.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

I'm a SUCKER for quizzes

Yeah. This makes sense.

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Bring It On!


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