Friday, February 25, 2005

My Job is Bad for my Health

5 hours of fitful sleep a night
4 days that I haven't had time to take a lunch
3 lines ringing on my phone at all times
2 coworkers that don't have a brain between them
1 ulcer in the making

But at least I get seranaded (dude, I can't be bothered to spell check) all day long by the American Idol finalists who practice in the hall before going onto their stage to shoot. Sometimes it's pleasant, sometimes I want to howl along........bumping into my boyfriend Ryan Seacrest in the elevator would make it all worthwhile......(sigh)

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Right in the eye!

There are many liquids you don't want getting in your eye. Hot Sauce in the eye burns like hell. Lemon juice makes you want to pull your eye out and suck on it for a while. All you dirty minds out there can come up with another example on your own. But today, I got the absolute very worst thing in my eye to date: ICKY LA FREEWAY RAINWATER KICKED UP BY THE REAR TIRE OF A MATTRESS DELIVERY TRUCK.

I'll take the blame for having my window down a crack in the rain, but that dude passed me so fast that the spray from his tire rushed into my window like high tide. The entire left side of my body was instantly soaked, and I spent the next few minutes trying to keep my car on the road with one eye closed doing the seated "I got something funny in my eye" dance. Can you contract hepatitis from LA freeway water?

Sunday, February 13, 2005

The conspiracy continues

Last night, after T$ and her lovely family left for the fun and fantasy of Disneyland, I found myself alone in the kitchen hunting for food. Bread, moldy. Oranges, squishy. Chicken, too much work. I grabbed a 20 spot from my purse and flipped open the yellow pages. Wouldn't it be nice if there was an old-fashioned deli that delivered? A big ol' turkey and swiss on a crusty roll sounds good right about now. But in our neck of the woods, there are three choices for take-out: A) pizza. B) overpriced but delicious Indian. C) cheap Thai. I went for the cheap Thai.
Does anyone else out there get a wee bit embarrassed when ordering take-out for one? I find myself using the pronoun "we" instead of "I" when ordering. We would like the chicken red curry. And we'll have one order of the vegetarian eggrolls. And then, we'll have, two Thai iced teas. It's pure insanity. The take-out guy on the other end doesn't care if I dine alone, he just requires me to spend more than 10 bucks for a delivery.
When my curry, eggrolls, and two Thai iced teas arrived, I dove into the bag in the middle of our newly-cleaned living room floor. All the dishes in the house were just washed, and I didn't want to mess any of them up. Soon, I was wired from my one and a half iced teas so I looked around for a movie to watch. The only thing I could find was our scratched copy of a film that is not yet released on DVD so I won't tell you which one it is or how we came about having it on DVD in our living room. I flipped through the 8 million HBOs, finally stumbling upon 1992's "Single White Female." Seriously. It was just starting. I had even forgotten that Bridget Fonda's character was named Allie.
After watching nearly 2 hours of psycho girl on girl action, I tried to go to bed. The two iced teas and the monstrous pile of crap on my bed made this a challenge, but I finally drifted off to sleep. That's when it happened. The crazy dreams. Too embarrassing to detail. A hotel, my brother (uh...), my old college friend Frank, latching the chain on the door just in time, this girl Danielle who I haven't talked to or seen in 18 years, finger-pointing and screaming. I must blame the Thai food. Only this time,, I didn't order from Thai Thai. I couldn't find the number. So I ordered from another place: Eat n' High. Hmmm...

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Dear Friends:

Will you be my people when I have people? What about you T$? Mels? Ands? How does one's people become their people? And how come everybody's people today sucked? Seriously.

If you cannot understand what I'm trying to say, talk to my people.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

T made me cry

Seriously. I CRIED while reading Tamara's "One year ago" entry. Man, has it been an entire year already?
I have so many stories to share about the new job! But, wait.....I signed a confidentiality agreement. T$ scoffed at me when I begged her not to tell anyone the stuff that slips out of my mouth whilst we're dishing on the porch because "I signed a confidentiality agreement". I think I'll use that phrase a lot more often.
Q: How old are you?
A: I signed a confidentiality agreement.
Q: Do you have a boyfriend?
A: I signed a confidentiality agreement.
Q: Can I buy you a drink?
A: I signed a confidentiality, I mean YES.
Perhaps I'll grow big hairy balls and share soon......the stories, not the BH balls.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Something must've worked

Yeah! I was offered the job today. Apparently a command of the English language was not one of the requirements.
Good News: $$$$ coming in.
Bad News: It's only a four week gig....curse you, crazy world of television.

Now, I have to do my laundry since my current uniform of college sweatpants just won't be appropriate.

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